“If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, That You may be feared.” (Psalm 130:3-4)
I’ve been thinking about this verse over the past few days, one of my friends even preached on it at an outreach on Sunday. I’ve been thinking about this verse because it brings me to my knees in thanks – it brings me to my knees to beg for mercy, and to beg in sure hope.
But oh, how often I have brushed aside the amazing forgiveness of God as something that I did to deserve, as though I lived a good life and so the extra “sins” deserve to be washed away – but no, it is not so! There is no possible way for me to stand before my God acting as though I have done what he required of me. Acting as though my sin is not evil, as though it does not condemn me to death. My heart deceives me, because knowing of this great forgiveness, I continue to sin – “for I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” And yet there is forgiveness.
What kind of love does God have for me? It is utterly foreign to my understanding as a human. That the thought of forgiveness would even enter God’s mind! That not only the thought, but that he would sovereignly design a way of salvation for me who has committed treason against him! It is too great, too wonderful, too marvelous for comprehension, and yet his word reveals it as truth.
Father, may my fear of you grow as I come to greater understanding of what you did through your son on the cross. As I come to more deeply understand the depth of my own sin, may I turn to you, do not allow me to fall away, but pick me up in your arms, grant me repentance when I sin, that I may return to sweet fellowship and joy with you. Cause the sweetness of sin and this world to turn to bitterness, cause my eyes to see its wickedness.
I praise you, oh my God, for your salvation. What hope you have given me, a sinner – saving me by grace and not by my own works! Help me to love you as I ought, and never be satisfied by anything but you. Help me, because I cannot help myself.